Divorce isn’t easy.
Emotions are heightened, and it can be challenging to make all the arrangements to separate your life (and everything that goes along with it) from your spouse.
Many people start by separating assets and arranging custody of their children (if they have any).
But there’s another essential family member to consider - your fur baby.
With many families now owning a pet, they become another family member to think about when you’re going through a divorce.
Legally, pets, such as your house, cars, and assets, are considered property. If you can’t agree on custody with your ex-spouse, the courts will treat your pet in the same manner as separating your assets.
This guide will cover the emotions your pet may experience, the change of environment for your pet, custody and visitation rights, and the legal side of pet custody in divorce.
Your pet’s emotions during a divorce
Divorce can be very stressful for your pets, especially dogs. Dogs are highly sensitive animals who thrive on routine and are very in tune with your emotions. You may not realise it, but they’re likely to pick up on the tension in the household and will feel it when you’re upset and tense.
You may notice that your dog starts displaying emotional behaviours as a coping method. This includes:
Increased anxiety behaviours or acting out of character
Aggression towards people (especially if they’re yelling) or destructive behaviour around the house
Loss of appetite or constantly begging for more food
Excessive barking or whining, especially when left alone
Withdrawal from their usual fun activities or family members
During this time, you’ll need to give your dog extra love and attention and reassure them they are safe (amongst the chaos that can occur with a divorce).
How the change of environment following a divorce may affect your pet
Dogs love stability. Most will have a routine – feeding, walking, sleeping, etc. When this goes out the window, your dog will act out and become stressed.
Ideally, you’ll amicably choose the primary caregiver (i.e., the original owner of the pet or the spouse who can provide and care for the pet in the best manner possible).
If the primary caregiver stays in the property, this is ideal, as your pet can stay in a familiar environment. However, if both parties are moving, you must help your pet adjust to its new surroundings.
The same applies to joint custody, where your pet will move from one house to another. You’ll need to make that process a happy, joyful time for them and try to avoid conflict as you hand over your pet so they don’t pick up on tension.
To help them adjust, you should:
Maintain regular feeding times
Take them on walks to help them explore their new environment
Give them lots of extra attention and help them feel safe
Ideally, stay with them as they adjust so they’re not left alone in a strange place
Negotiating pet visitation and custody following a divorce
Deciding on pet custody and visitation can be tricky when you’ve decided to divorce. Above all things, you should consider what’s in the best interest of your beloved pet and not use them as a pawn in a game of tug and war.
If there’s any dispute, it’s recommended that a pet custody agreement be drafted, including who will be the primary carer, how visitation will occur, and who will be responsible for the ongoing pet costs or care of your pet.
If one party keeps your pet as the primary caregiver and the other spouse wants to see their pet, you’ll need to work out a visitation schedule that works for both parties.
Like other aspects of divorce proceedings, you may use a mediator to help you find a solution that is agreeable to all involved.
You’ll also need to work out who (if not both) will be responsible for ongoing pet care costs and the well-being of your beloved fur baby. As you know, pets can be expensive, and emergencies can happen.
Here are some solutions:
If one party is taking sole responsibility for your pet (i.e. no visitation, etc.), that person will assume the financial and emotional care
If there’s joint custody, both parties could put an agreed amount into an account specifically for pet costs only OR
You could have an agreement (like you do with children) that one spouse will pay the other a certain amount of money to help cover the pet costs
The legalities of pet custody when going through a divorce
If you can’t amicably decide on pet custody, finding a divorce lawyer who knows about pet custody issues is advisable. Australian law considers pets to be property.
If you’re in dispute over your pet, the courts will approach the issue as they’d consider your asset divisions. When looking at your property settlement, they determine each person's financial and non-financial contributions to the marriage, along with your future needs.
When negotiating pet custody, the courts will usually consider:
Your pet’s council registration and microchip (whose name is it under)
Who wanted or bought the pet in the first instance
Who has been responsible for the pet's care (training, feeding, walking, etc.)
Who usually takes the pet to the vet or makes the decisions regarding its care
To avoid hefty court costs, a lawyer usually recommends mediation to help both parties devise an arrangement that suits you and your pet.
Ultimately, when you’re going through a divorce, it’s best that you can both agree on what’s best for your beloved fur baby. Above all, think of what’s best for your pet and put their needs above your own.
Does your pet need some extra love during your divorce?
If you're going through a divorce and want to ensure your pet is coping, I’m available for dog walking or pet visits during the day.
If you’ve moved to the Glen Iris area, I can take your dog for a walk and help it learn about its new environment. I can also pop over during the day for feeding and play to help it adjust to its new home and keep it company if you’re out.
You can see all of my services here.
Booking dog walking is easy using my online booking form.
And here are a couple of my other blogs you may be interested in reading:
How to read your dog’s body language to know what they’re thinking
Signs your pet may be suffering from depression
Until next time, pat your fur babies for me!
PS: If you’ve been through a divorce and pet custody arrangement, I’d love for you to share how you coped during this time. Please post your thoughts in the comments below.
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